When I was a young kiddo, my mom gave me a Steve Martin standup record as a gift. Yes, every word of that sentence is true. To be fair, she didn’t know what was on it.
Steve Martin was my favorite comedian, starting at age seven or eight. Maybe it was the arrow through the head gag, or perhaps it was his “King Tut” song (which hasn’t aged well), either way, I thought and still think he is hilarious. Without question, he is my favorite comedian of all time. Steve, if you are reading this…let’s hang out.
I listened to that record over and over again, until I had memorized his stand-up routine. Yes, my mom regretted buying that album because it wasn’t exactly written for my age group. She was not prepared to answer some of the questions I asked after listening to it. I’ll save that conversation for another day.
There is a part of his routine that still makes me laugh to this day. It starts with him saying something like “Okay now let’s repeat the non-conformist’s oath. I promise to be different!” (Then the crowd repeats “I promise to be different”). “I promise to be unique!” (The crowd repeats him again). “I promise not to repeat things other people say!” (Then the crowd falls apart, mumbles, and trails off.) Then Steve exclaims “GOOD!” The place erupts in laughter.
They realized the genius of Steve Martin. He had them repeat an oath, something non-conformists would never do. They didn’t realize it until the last line. It still makes me chuckle to this day and I know it’s coming every..single…time.
Non-conformists don’t repeat oaths. They don’t sign on the dotted line. They don’t blend into the scenery. They don’t start a club for themselves. As their name suggests, they fight conformity at every turn.
One could probably make a case, that if there is a group called “the non-conformists” you have already lost the battle. You have organized. You have set values and even if the mission is “not to conform”, once you agree to that, you have conformed.
Setting that aside, there is great value in not easily conforming. Most of us comply to a set group of standards or values, which is necessary for a society to function. Those standards could be forged in us from religion, cultural norms, our family of origin, the friends we hang out with, or what is acceptable in our group on the social media platform of our choosing. But, we are kidding ourselves if we say there is no set values that we conform to. If you have beliefs, any beliefs at all, there are set behaviors that align with that belief.
Here’s what I’m thinking. I think everybody conforms on some level. The trick is not to conform to things that don’t align with the values that stem from your beliefs. Don’t easily conform to ease tension, fit in, make someone happy, manipulate others, or to make someone love you. The more you do that, the more you become a chameleon that blends into the scenery, the more you are perceived as unreliable, unknowable, or untrustworthy.
*Quick sidenote: Sometimes we become chameleons for safety reasons. We do this to avoid being targeted, hated on, bullied, or in some cases, fired. I understand the need to do this and occasionally it is necessary, but we must be careful that it doesn’t become a way of life.
If your beliefs make you a better person, stick to those beliefs. Don’t comply or compromise to make life easier for you or anyone else.
You don’t have to break out a megaphone, make a formal announcement, or call a press conference. It doesn’t have to be a “I’m taking my talents to South Beach” sorta thing. Just stick to what makes you a better human and don’t compromise.
My beliefs come from my faith. I happen to believe that if you follow Jesus, the Jesus in the Gospels, you should live like Him. If you live like Him, it is tough to argue that you aren’t a better human being. The problem is that many times we misrepresent Him because we have misunderstood Him. Jesus often was targeted because He wouldn’t conform to a traditional understanding of religion during the time He walked among us. He did believe in and stand for some very specific truths. At the same time, He wasn’t an anarchist nor did He throw standards to the wind.
He elevated them.
He helped people understand that He was the fulfillment of what God originally intended humans to be. One of his favorite titles for Himself was “Son of man” which comes from the book of Daniel. I believe that this title not only points to His humanity but to His ability to ascend our animal nature to become more than just the summation of our wants, desires, insecurities, and mistakes. It is what humanity was originally intended to be. He was called the second Adam (1 Cor 15:45-49) because He perfected what it meant to be human and created pockets of heaven here on earth. He encouraged His followers to do the same (Matthew 6:10).
When we have strong beliefs that benefit humanity, and we stick to those beliefs, it has a transformative effect. It changes you, in a positive and compassionate way.
If you have carefully thought through those beliefs, accepted them to be true, internalized them, and expressed them with love and compassion…it doesn’t feel like conforming to me.
So how do we hold to a set of values or beliefs, without slipping into conformity? All I can tell you is how I guard against that. We’ll take a look at that in my next post. Until then, let’s remember the non-conformist’s oath…repeat after me!!! “I promise to be different!”
mlsnellings 