Broken Compasses and Breadcrumbs

Be honest with me for just a second. Do you feel lost?

I know. As adults, we shouldn’t admit things like that. Who wants to confess that they aren’t sure where they are, or how to move forward?

I mean, we’re supposed to know what we are doing at this point. Right? If we don’t, who does? As parents, we want to project strength and certainty even in times when we aren’t strong and we aren’t certain.

It is the old “fake it till you make it” routine. Only, I’m not sure that’s working for us 100%. That might be okay in your job or when you are learning a new skill but how about your mental health? What about parenting? Here’s another one, what about your faith?

One of the biggest hurdles to feeling lost in our faith is that places of worship, often act like they have all of the answers and these answers are preset. However, after spending a year or two at a church, my guess is…you start feeling lost again. I know, if you are a Christian, you might have additional baggage. After all, Jesus told the story of the Prodigal Son and at the end proclaimed, “he was lost and is found.” He also promised that part of His mission was to “seek and to save the lost.” (Luke 19:10)

If this is the case, and we confess that we feel lost, what does that say about us?

To be honest, that’s a scary question isn’t it? If we admit we feel lost, what will other people think? This is a huge problem with the church system as we know it. We should be able to be authentic and honest. We should be able to tell someone close to us, “I feel lost” and not feel like they are backing up, waiting for lightning to strike. For many churches, projecting certainty is tantamount to “having faith”.

What if having faith meant having more questions?

What if admitting that you feel lost is the first step to being found? What if pastors and presidents of denominations were honest about their doubts and misgivings with God?

Wouldn’t it be great if people who are deconstructing, or in the process of detoxifying their faith, had a space where they could talk about how the church has hurt them over the years, and instead of accusing them of “backsliding” or being “too sensitive”, we answered them by saying, “I’m sorry. I know how that feels.”

Here’s my truth. I feel lost sometimes. I have a relationship with Jesus, I read my Bible every day, I pray frequently…and I feel lost. Maybe not every day, but I have seasons. Seasons of feeling hurt and angry. Seasons of unpacking harmful theology that have damaged my lens for how I see and treat people. Seasons of being hurt by religious people and swearing off religion altogether. Seasons of not knowing if I ever want to set foot in a church again.

Don’t we all have seasons, weeks, months or even years where we feel adrift? Have you ever felt like your compass was broken, that the breadcrumbs you left out to find your way home have been eaten by the crows?

If so, stick around. I am in the middle of writing a book about it. If you are interested, stay tuned.

Here’s to the lost, the let down and the left behind. Let’s stick together and find a way forward, even if we never find our way back.