Yes, I’m Crazy

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I talk to myself.  There, I put it out there.  Not sure I feel better but at least I have admitted it and that’s the first step to recovery right?  Honestly, I have a lot of internal dialogues with myself.  There have been plenty of times where my daughter Savannah has walked in on me running through a scenario in my head, out loud, and she’s said “What are you doing?!” and I’ve had to say, “Daddy’s praying” or “I’m working on a sermon.” That’s feels good to say out loud too.  Glad that’s out in the open.  Sort of.

I’m not sure what it is about talking to myself out loud that’s helpful.  I think it helps me work through scenarios that are bouncing around in my head.  In a way it purges them.  It gets it out of my noggin.  Its amazing how many voices we have speaking to us on a regular basis isn’t it?  I’ll have to say that outside of my time in prayer and Bible reading, that most of the voices that I contend with aren’t positive.  I’m not sure what that says about me.  I do believe that Satan is actively involved in that though.  The Bible says that he is a “roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”  (1 Peter 5:8)  In other words, he is always on the go.

I don’t know if you’ve ever viewed the Devil that way or not but I believe its true.  If we drift passively through life and don’t contend with “the voices” we’ll be controlled by them.  I have found prayer to be especially helpful in this process.  When I start to go on one of my rants, talking out loud and all, I pray.  I’m convinced God hears and then acts.  It hasn’t failed me yet.

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