I talk to myself. There, I put it out there. Not sure I feel better but at least I have admitted it and that’s the first step to recovery right? Honestly, I have a lot of internal dialogues with myself. There have been plenty of times where my daughter Savannah has walked in on me running through a scenario in my head, out loud, and she’s said “What are you doing?!” and I’ve had to say, “Daddy’s praying” or “I’m working on a sermon.” That’s feels good to say out loud too. Glad that’s out in the open. Sort of.
I’m not sure what it is about talking to myself out loud that’s helpful. I think it helps me work through scenarios that are bouncing around in my head. In a way it purges them. It gets it out of my noggin. Its amazing how many voices we have speaking to us on a regular basis isn’t it? I’ll have to say that outside of my time in prayer and Bible reading, that most of the voices that I contend with aren’t positive. I’m not sure what that says about me. I do believe that Satan is actively involved in that though. The Bible says that he is a “roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8) In other words, he is always on the go.
I don’t know if you’ve ever viewed the Devil that way or not but I believe its true. If we drift passively through life and don’t contend with “the voices” we’ll be controlled by them. I have found prayer to be especially helpful in this process. When I start to go on one of my rants, talking out loud and all, I pray. I’m convinced God hears and then acts. It hasn’t failed me yet.